Living single after years of marriage means re-entering a world where my needs stand at the forefront. It’s a shift from what many of us are taught from a young age—put others first, take care of those around you. But then, who tends to us when we’re all tapped out? This solo chapter has taught me the importance of self-care and setting boundaries. It’s about time I give myself the same compassion and attention I’ve freely given to others.
Codependency, a term popularized by Melody Beattie, was a revelation. Her books shed light on the unintentional patterns we fall into while caring too much, losing bits of ourselves. I found myself disentangling from these cycles of codependency, reclaiming who I am outside of someone else’s shadow. Living alone has been instrumental in breaking those habits that once seemed permanent.
Freedom is an incredible teacher in this solo journey. Whether it’s my choice to eat cereal for dinner or rock that naturally curly hair or synthetic wig, there’s nobody to critique the choices I make. Every decision is truly mine, and that’s empowering beyond measure. It’s like breathing fresh air after being cooped up, appreciating every personal quirk without external validation or judgment.
Unexpected healing has been perhaps the most profound lesson. There were old wounds, long pushed aside, that I didn’t even realize needed attention. The quiet space of singlehood means you have room to uncover and heal these emotional bruises, and it’s been refreshingly therapeutic.
Creating my daily routine—what a revelation that’s been. From deciding what I want for breakfast without compromise, to planning my day around my own priorities, it’s an affirmation of independence. This personal autonomy in crafting my day-to-day life has redefined what happiness means for me.
Of course, living single isn’t simply a choice without its challenges, especially in a society that sometimes equates singlehood with lack. But embracing this status, I’ve learned to find power and joy. Empowerment comes from realizing your worth isn’t tied to another person.
